Attack of the Vampires

I spent most of yesterday on the set of my brother's independent comedic vampire feature Bloodsucka Jones. Because my bro loves me and is well-aware of my fascination with cults, I got to play a Scientologist who gets eaten by a vicious, vapid, Cameron Diaz look-alike vampire. I am still recovering from the attack, since the actress playing said vampire accidentally dropped me on my head. I still seem to be thinking clearly, so hopefully no permanent damage there. I think several children in the park we were shooting in may need counseling after watching a boatload of fake blood and guts get tossed out of a tree, followed by a skeleton. You see, a couple of guys use a cheeseburger to bribe a hobo (I am obsessed with cults - my brother is obsessed with hobos) to climb a tree and see if there are any vampires hiding in the branches. Things don't work out so nicely for the hobo...