Passages

Yesterday I watched a boy become a man. Stuffed full of lots of cold/flu medication, I was able to function for my job and attend a bar mitzvah. It was touching to watch family and friends of this boy gather around him and encourage him in this rite of passage. It's a remarkable thing, really, and I wish the Christian faith had an equally symbolic ceremony for boys and girls to usher them into adulthood and the community. I think we all could use that kind of spiritual guidance and care. Anyway, months ago a young boy named Jacob had found PAL through researching local organizations that offered soccer programs to underprivileged youth. He was looking for a charity to benefit by making his bar mitzvah a fundraiser. He adores soccer and in lieu of gifts at his bar mitzvah and the customary ginormous party, Jacob wanted to make a lasting difference. He's an amazing young man and an old soul who is well-spoken, kind and full of compassion. If you've ever been to a bar mitzvah, you know that it's quite an affair and much on par with an event like a wedding, particularly in LA. I helped plan one once for a tv director and it was oh-so-lavish. They had henna tattoo artists, dancers, a wandering psychic, t-shirt artists, and thousands of dollars worth of extras. Jacob had no interest in being the total focus and recognized that his entry into manhood meant that he was now taking some responsibility as a young adult and he felt he should reach out into the community. He ended up raising over $7000 for our soccer program (strangely enough, that's nearly the exact amount we were set to go into deficit come August!) He also spent time getting to know our U14 soccer team at practices and friendly scrimmages. In fact, one of the main events of his small, casual bar mitzvah party was a scrimmage between his soccer team and ours. They were well-matched and our kids really seemed to have fun at the reception. It was moving to see our inner city kids slowly inch over to the side of the room where Jacob and his friends were hanging out and start to merge with their group for a little dance-off.

During the ceremony hearing Jacob's 11-year-old sister do a reading, I was really struck by the difference in resources between these privately-educated kids and ours. I mean, she read beautifully and fluidly, in great contrast to what I had witnessed the day before. One of our kids had asked me to attend her Junior ROTC Awards ceremony at her public high school. There were three teenaged girls who had been selected to read out the awards and I was shocked because THEY COULD BARELY READ. In high school! They stumbled over their readings and were unable to manage words like "foreign" (for-gin), "executive" (ex-U-shiv), and "distinguished" (dis-tish). Have public schools really tanked that much? I went to public school and I don't remember other kids struggling so dramatically to read. What's going on? And LAUSD is laying off teachers right and left and significantly increasing class sizes. I can understand why those with the means are seeking education elsewhere in LA county. Criminy.

After the bar mitzvah festivities were through, I stopped by my friend's daughter's high school graduation party. She's another extraordinary young person, full of personality, love and life. It was really great to see some people I hadn't seen in a while, particularly a number of friends from my theater company. There was a time in my 20's that I used to think "Dang it, LA! Everybody's an actor, everybody's in entertainment. I want to have contact with more regular peoples." And it hit me: I love these people. I really do. They are funny, unique, interesting, and I enjoy them. God may not have given me my own family yet, but I do have a wonderful family of friends and an interesting and loving community. We're there for each other. We genuinely rejoice in one another's triumphs and mourn each other's struggles. I'm very grateful.