Josh

On Friday night I had the pleasure of having dinner with my little brother, Josh. Joshua James Michael McSparran to be exact. I don’t remember the last time we had dinner alone together. It’s been years, which is a travesty, since I adore my baby bro. I finally called him a few weeks ago and said simply, “I miss you. I love you. I want to see you.” I should have done it long ago. Time is short, people. Time is short.

Josh works as a manager for Enterprise (he has some good stories – if you ever meet him, ask him for a sampling). He is such a sweet, likable, open guy. I appreciate that he feels comfortable enough to share his thoughts with me. He talked about being at that stage of trying to figure out his purpose in life, where he should be headed next, etc. That’s the question that seems to present itself over and over, my brotha. I go through that every couple of years…

I treasured Josh from the second he appeared on the scene 27 years ago. I was the youngest kid in our family for ten years and I used to make dandelion wishes that my mom would have another baby, which seemed incredibly unlikely. But after my parents divorced, she re-married and we moved to California, where she announced that I would soon have a brand new brother or sister. I was beyond ecstatic and looked forward to equalizing the genders with another girl. However, my mamacita is a boy-making factory, so we got Josh. I loved that kid intensely and all thoughts of a sister melted. I remember coming home from school and running up to his room to see if he was awake from his nap. If he wasn’t, I’d reach my grubby paw through the bars of his crib and give him a shake, run out of the room and wait for him to cry so I could announce, “I’ll get him!”

He was the hands down cutest, sweetest baby around and he grew into the most adorable, funny, easy-going little boy with a cascade of blonde curls falling down his back. Sometimes I have dreams of Baby Josh, but then I wake up and I realize that I’ll never see him like that again and my heart aches. Of course, he’s been replaced with amazingly delightful Adult Josh, but it’s like two different people. What I wouldn’t do to be able to be able pick the pint-sized version up one more time or ride around with him tethered to the baby seat on the back of my bike.

Here’s to you, Josh. I love you like a brother. Let’s get together again soon...

My three brothers