Musings for a Friday Afternoon

A fire engine red, splashy new sports car pulled up in front of me this morning as I drove by the post office to stick some mail in the box. I was surprised to see a woman, no less than 80-years-old, climb out of the seat. As I approached her to offer to put her mail in the mailbox, I wanted so badly to say "You are FANTASTIC driving around in that car instead of big, boat-y sedan", but I didn't want to sound patronizing. I just had never seen a really old lady with such a sweet ride. I dug it.

I mentioned my tax preparer a few weeks back and how we have such fun repartee at my annual appointment. He'll usually inquire about my dating life and every year he teases me by saying "Are you SURE you want to be married? Are you absolutely CERTAIN you want kids? Because you know one day you'll have a teenager staring at you like you're a complete idiot. But if that's what you want..." He always trails off, then laughs maniacally for effect.

Well, yes, I am sure. Even though I don't really know what challenges lie on the other side of that canyon, I want to be part of a partnership in this life. I want to work together with someone for common purposes. I want to serve others. I want to love and be loved. I also feel like it's the thing that will help me become more fully the woman who I'm meant to be - by having that kind of commitment and responsibility. Yes, my life now is good because I am responsible to no one and can do whatever I please. It's been dandy, mind you. But I want the maturity and growth that kind of sacrifice can bring. It would be very easy and comfortable to continue my life as it is, but I think I'm called to something else. And lest you think I'm all noble and crud, I also simply don't want to be alone. It's tiresome. And as difficult as intimacy can be, I want it. I want to learn how to love and nurture in a situation where I can't leave when things get dicey and the road is riddled with potholes. So help me God...