Morning Calm

Quiet. Sitting in the USC Doheny Memorial Library is a welcome respite from the chaos outside its walls. Clean. Austere. Dignified. It feels almost holy. Heaven for the academic. Fifteen minutes to wait before my interview with business students who might take on PAL as a school project for marketing. I want to stay in this nook all day, alone and reflecting. Nose to nose with the sadness that has become an unwanted stowaway. Trying to ride out this wave of depression that comes from a colorful stew made up of so many different ingredients. I'm so very functional in my sadness that I don't know it's there until each time I see my mother and then inevitably let go and start to cry. Thankfully, no matter how low you drop, it's difficult to push a mom away with tears. Part of it feels like God is giving me a teensy taste of the suffering around me and all over the world. Maybe to help me develop a keener sense of compassion? I don't know, but I feel like I have to shoulder it sometimes, fix it. I know that burden is not for me to bear and I'm crazy koo koo and a cocky little thing if I think that I am the one who can save the world and prevent others' pain. Hello! Last time I checked my last name wasn't Christ.

Speaking of which.....why are Latinos the only ones to name their kids after Jesus? It's like no one else wanted to touch that one. I mean, how can your kid ever live up to that name? Although apparently there were little Jesuses running around before and after the Jesus showed up on the scene.....

Anyway, for a dose of positivity, check out this man. Oh, to have his attitude consistently and not just intermittently.