As an early birthday gift, N. took me to see a one-woman show called Macho Like Me that she had told me about months ago. Author and storyteller Helie Lee was a successful 39-year-old whose parents were harping on her to get a husband. She pointed out how her 22-year-old cousin's engagement ring drew more awe than her vast sea of accomplishments. Frustrated and believing that men have it all and have it easy, she embarked on an experiment to see what it was like on the other side of things. She lived as a man for over six months.
While Lee is not really an actress, her subject matter is so compelling you forgive any performance or show structure weaknesses. She had a camera crew follow her around for the duration of the project, so there were plenty of clips of her experiences. Fascinating.
Mainly, she walked away recognizing that men were not so much the oppressors as the oppressed. She felt immense loneliness as she suppressed her emotions and tried to live by the male code. No prolonged eye contact, no crying, way less smiling, trying to joke and be top dog without achieving any real closeness in her relationships with guys. One video showed her playing a pick-up basketball game with three men and how they mocked her and judged her worth as a "man" by how well she played. Which she didn't. Let's just say they threw the ball at her head. Twice.
All along she thought men were free to do whatever they wanted, but she discovered just how many unspoken rules they have to follow in order to be viewed as a man. Especially notable was her experience of being rejected by women. She gained a new appreciation of just how hard it is to put yourself out there for women to reject.
Like Lee, it gave me a new sense of compassion for men and a greater appreciation for being a woman. I can freely express my feelings, hug and comfort other women, and generally just be who I am.
While Lee is not really an actress, her subject matter is so compelling you forgive any performance or show structure weaknesses. She had a camera crew follow her around for the duration of the project, so there were plenty of clips of her experiences. Fascinating.
Mainly, she walked away recognizing that men were not so much the oppressors as the oppressed. She felt immense loneliness as she suppressed her emotions and tried to live by the male code. No prolonged eye contact, no crying, way less smiling, trying to joke and be top dog without achieving any real closeness in her relationships with guys. One video showed her playing a pick-up basketball game with three men and how they mocked her and judged her worth as a "man" by how well she played. Which she didn't. Let's just say they threw the ball at her head. Twice.
All along she thought men were free to do whatever they wanted, but she discovered just how many unspoken rules they have to follow in order to be viewed as a man. Especially notable was her experience of being rejected by women. She gained a new appreciation of just how hard it is to put yourself out there for women to reject.
Like Lee, it gave me a new sense of compassion for men and a greater appreciation for being a woman. I can freely express my feelings, hug and comfort other women, and generally just be who I am.
Posts
1 comment:
If I have learned anything from being married it is that men have it extremely hard, much more then women (this from my limited experience and my small circle only). There is so much pressure on a man to make money, put out fires, and be the superhero to all. I value men. Thanks for this post. Can't wait to share in that birthday celebration!
Post a Comment