The wind kicked and squealed through the night. Ah, the Santa Anas. They can be vicious. So much so that they actually blew the paint off of one of my plant pots on the patio. Nope. I'm not kidding. Across the street a huge tree was completely uprooted and is now lying on top of a car.
It made me think about how quickly I get uprooted, just when I think I've got things down. A few days ago I was doing some reading for a leadership class I'm taking at church. The chapter was called simply "Humble." The most impactful quote I came across was this from Thomas Merton:
"When humility delivers a man from attachment to his own words and his own reputation, he discovers that true joy is only possible when we have completely forgotten ourselves. And it is only when we pay no more attention to our life and our own reputation and our own excellence that we are at last completely free to serve God for His sake alone."
It sliced through me, that sharp dagger of truth. The chapter went on to talk about how we know pride is lurking within based on our reactions when we are snubbed, passed over or not recognized for our accomplishments. The balm for this? Focusing on others. It's not like I haven't heard it before. I know there is a freedom in letting go and putting others' needs above my own. After I read the quote above, I felt renewed and empowered to to go out and practice putting that into action.
But like the wind that ripped that tree from the earth last night, I also so easily fall. The same day I decided to put that quote to work, I boarded a flight back to LA. Now, perhaps my attitude was colored by the fact that my best friend's husband told me before I left that they had been praying I would be sitting next to an amazing man on the plane and an enviable love story would ensue. Instead I had next to me a toddler who squealed that high-pitched toddler squeal when his mother denied him a fifth lollipop or asked him to stop knocking into me and touching my stuff. And a 7-year-old behind me kicking my seat.
Yes, yes. These are annoying things. BUT.....it was an opportunity to focus on that poor woman traveling alone with a toddler (who really did pretty well considering the length of the trip). I could have smiled at her more, talked to her. Listened. I wasn't rude. I never rolled my eyes. I just burrowed myself in my book and pretended it wasn't happening. Yes, I picked up his sippy cup multiple times when it fell without being asked. Yes, I allowed her to lift up the arm rest that was protecting my personal space so her little one could try to sleep (no luck). But it was all perfunctory and straightforward, sans real warmth and love.
I get sick of all the failures that come along with this life. The times I snap at a loved one, judge instead of love, or focus more on my comfort than those around me.
But like that tree that was ripped from its foundation, I will re-plant myself and try again with a hope to grow deeper, my branches reaching up towards the light.....
It made me think about how quickly I get uprooted, just when I think I've got things down. A few days ago I was doing some reading for a leadership class I'm taking at church. The chapter was called simply "Humble." The most impactful quote I came across was this from Thomas Merton:
"When humility delivers a man from attachment to his own words and his own reputation, he discovers that true joy is only possible when we have completely forgotten ourselves. And it is only when we pay no more attention to our life and our own reputation and our own excellence that we are at last completely free to serve God for His sake alone."
It sliced through me, that sharp dagger of truth. The chapter went on to talk about how we know pride is lurking within based on our reactions when we are snubbed, passed over or not recognized for our accomplishments. The balm for this? Focusing on others. It's not like I haven't heard it before. I know there is a freedom in letting go and putting others' needs above my own. After I read the quote above, I felt renewed and empowered to to go out and practice putting that into action.
But like the wind that ripped that tree from the earth last night, I also so easily fall. The same day I decided to put that quote to work, I boarded a flight back to LA. Now, perhaps my attitude was colored by the fact that my best friend's husband told me before I left that they had been praying I would be sitting next to an amazing man on the plane and an enviable love story would ensue. Instead I had next to me a toddler who squealed that high-pitched toddler squeal when his mother denied him a fifth lollipop or asked him to stop knocking into me and touching my stuff. And a 7-year-old behind me kicking my seat.
Yes, yes. These are annoying things. BUT.....it was an opportunity to focus on that poor woman traveling alone with a toddler (who really did pretty well considering the length of the trip). I could have smiled at her more, talked to her. Listened. I wasn't rude. I never rolled my eyes. I just burrowed myself in my book and pretended it wasn't happening. Yes, I picked up his sippy cup multiple times when it fell without being asked. Yes, I allowed her to lift up the arm rest that was protecting my personal space so her little one could try to sleep (no luck). But it was all perfunctory and straightforward, sans real warmth and love.
I get sick of all the failures that come along with this life. The times I snap at a loved one, judge instead of love, or focus more on my comfort than those around me.
But like that tree that was ripped from its foundation, I will re-plant myself and try again with a hope to grow deeper, my branches reaching up towards the light.....
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1 comment:
Good one, SA. Really good one.
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